others are starting school next while me i'm still stuck at home. suddenly i feel that i'm back in the middle of two roads that i need to make another decision to which path i shall take this time. well, yesterday was the registration for higher nitec and i missed it because i decided that i will not continue my studies further at ite. and i know i had broke some hearts especially my dad and of course cliques was kinda sad, that i actually took this great decision. it was kinda hard at first to make this decision. because you really need to plan out what is your next steps, how your life will be after this when you're out of school.
this is the most stressful moments ever. we always think that the most stressful moments when we had to deal with exams papers one after another or maybe even waiting for our exams results. but really, when you have to starts making decision that determines your future and made such a great decisions that will be the most stressful moment of your life. and that is the moment you need to think out of the box, and that's the moment too, when you realize soon you will be stepping into an adult life, when things are not like how it used to be, because things are getting serious and every steps we take will determine everything. and now i'm living in that moments where i have starting thinking if i take this steps what will happen next, will i be able to stand up real proud or it is just a dark alley, that whatever i do no one will be able to see.
i have to find a job right now other than applying the earlychildhood course. which i hope abah will help me apply sooner so that i know and confident enough what i want to do next. but somehow since the day my parents know what course i was being offered and that i made a decision to decline it, they keep hinting on me to get a full time job that have got to do with the office skills course i took last year, and a long the way study as part time, i'm not sure yet if that's a good idea for me. i now i'm in a confuse state.
other than thinking of having a job and study, i've been thinking for some time to open an online shop. not really just recently, i've been thinking about that it have been some time,or should i say very long time. and yesterday i told babylove about that, and he agrees to it for the first time, but still not confident enough that i could really handle it and asked me to just focus what i'm doing right now and that can come later. well, yes,i have to agree,no one knows if it will be a good business but i still remember this oral examination at school i need to go through, the teacher of that day asked me if i really have the passion to open my own business,and i said yes with a big smile on my face. and he was like ok~. anyway i'm still doing research on that other than a long the way still finding a job.
enough of everything that's going around me right now, and i've been thinking about the question babylove asked me yesterday. maybe i should delete this blog of mine. it have been years stuck with me and tolerating my rubbish i wrote here at times. i have yet decided on that yet but that dosen't i will stop blogging, all i wanted just to delete this current blog and make a new one, to start a fresh. like the maly saying goes' buang yang keruh , ambil yang jernih'. am still thinking though maybe i change to onsugar or tumblr.
