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well, to readers out there, have anyone actually asked you "have you ever feel left out among your friends?" or "do you ever feel or actually realize your on your own and actually you have no friends and your just being an extra everywhere you go?"...someone did asked me such question and never did i thought anyone would asked me such question. you wanna know whats my answer was? actually yes, definitely i really do feel and realize i'm being left out among my friends, and i do realize and feel that i'm actually on my own, no friends,just being an extra everywhere i go. if in general, of course others would say that i'm telling lies and it is impossible that i dont have any friends, cause i do actually have friends, my classmates and those i know along the way till i reach sec 5. first and for most i'm saying all these not to seek anyone attention or sympathy from anyone, just a sudden thought of this topic after a few weeks had pasts since that person actually asked me.

anyway i've been having all these thoughts and feel this way since i was primary school. maybe the reasons i just arent able to mix well with everyone or not talkative enough or maybe i love to be on my own. i will say that i'm really envy those are surrounds with lots of friends having all these bestfriend thingy relationship and spend time together etc. well, i do have bestfriends,i'm used to not anymore after all those backstabbing and arguments we had i think i lose my one and only friend, which i still have my friends around me, which i dont exactly know if we considered friends are just strangers talking to each other cause we have too. and most of the time i only seems to feel my dear boyfriend is also not just someone i love but also my friend, one and only friend. too many incidents that i feel left out, either i dont know what are they talking about, whats going on or i'm not just a prt of it at all. what make me feels worse, is when a friend i used to had actually just come to me when she dosent have anyone else around her or when she needs help. i mean i'm not saying all these to hurt anyone neither am i pointing finger at anyone. this is a natural feelings of mine,also i'm not saying i'm such an angel that anyone who did that to me is damn fucking evil. it is just from my point of view and how i see the situation. and again i'm not trying to seek any attention here neither i'm seeking anyone sympathy, just my point view and how i feel.

170708,thursday,
finally, able to meet up with dear boyfriend,missing him damn much as recently he had started working,well i guess it must be a permanent job after going through few jobs and playing around. since he started working, we barely meet up as he's working time is too long and too my shifts to do. so today he actually take some time out from his lunch time hour just to meet me and then went back too work.

180708,friday,
haizz......it had been a long time since i actually have no where to go after school when every friday school actually ends early. usually every friday is the day is the day i look forward to cause its the day i could spend quite a few hours with dear boyfriend but not anymore, since he's busy working and i was told to go home straight after school since he know i just cant keep still, always wanted to go somewhere. i really dont know what to do when i reached home so i actually sit in front of the computer for few hours doing nothing and at 4pm plus,took an afternoon nap.

190708,saturday,
again dear boyfriend busy working,too busy i should say. well, maybe i should see the positive side which i could actually spend more time on my studies, lesser time meeting up with him till o level ends. but still keep missing him so much, and keep hugging the winnie the pooh i took from him which was actually the winnie the pooh he bring to sleep,hehehe,how cute!, he insist of giving it to me so now i'm the one keep bringing the winnie pooh with me to sleep. well,practically everywhere around the house i should say,you could see i'll be hugging the winnie the pooh. while i'm studying, doing homework, watching tv etc.

200708,sunday,
let's see,dear boyfriend still busy with tons of work and he is still at work now, should be sitting in front of the computer typing in all the things he needs to do and serve all kinds of customers to help improve singapore economic. ok, i'm like answering a geography question involving all the economic of singapore etc, ok enough ! missing him damn much!!!!!! by the way i almost able to buy GUESS wallet just now, arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!