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Today,i'm really having a bad,stressful day,maybe because what happened yesterday. it kinda affected me a lot. i either dont really have no mood to tease khairul like i used to or i just want to be alone and stare into space. i dont who else to talk to except my lovely friends, nisa,munirah,aqilah,shikin and khairul. thanx all for being my listening ear, listening my tales of relationship life. all i want now is to puff away my sadness,stress and problems. like mrs azian said, when you're studying or at school, clear away your problems you have and after that you can waste your time pondering on them.

Confession of the day:
the sweetness of relationship is wonderful,the love you show make it more of a blist for me. a call and a message from you would be enough to make my day right and bring upon a smile on my face. the three letter word you breath, it have always been music to my ears. the laughter and happiness you bring is a joy in my life. the warmth of hugs, the warmth of love when you hold my hand, it feel so real. your kisses that kills, would be more than enough to last me the whole day and missing it the next day. the way you smile, laugh and the cuteness of you when you speak and sing would just make my hearts melt every time. but yet all of that is just the positive part i able to see on the outer surface of you.

your a guy who every girl would run after. your a guy who just snap their fingers and girls would just come running to you. what i see is your still the sweet talker i've known for the pasts years. i can still sense all your under arm tricks you have been putting on and doing or maybe not. i could feel the love and the sweetness of it but i do still taste the bitterness of it. sincerity is there, but the word you should planted in your when you're with me is your faithfulness towards the love you give me yet the word faithful have always be a blur vision to me. and every time i asked you questions that you seems to hate or i dont why you couldnt even answer it,and turn a deaf ear on me,it have akways leave a question mark to me. and every goes by more on more questions that you ignored keep piling every single day. is either you turn a deaf year,i get the scolding or i dont want to spoil anything that only bring me pain.

but i hope you could at least answer this one and only questions that have been weighing on my mind,"in what way that i'm so far different from all the other girls you had been with?". cause i do feel the different. its like everything have to be the other way around when you're with me,is either you wanna keep it low because of some reasons or i'm just like a toy for you to play when you're bored or alone. is not that i dont have the faith in you,i do have all the faith in you as you show it all bu when it comes to get the word faithfulness start within you,between us,it seems so hard yet any other girl you've been with is easy as abc. you would even boast around about the girl you love and you even want to tell the world that you love her so much that at the end of the day when break ups happened its like the end of life for you but yet is not happening between us.

all i want is like how we used to be before we were so called get together. it seems better loving each other without getting together. you're not like what you used to be since what had happened yesterday. all i want is joy,happiness,a blist of life,laughter ans miles from you and yet the most important thing is you sincere and truely love from you to me. dont make me feel as though i'm just a toy you could play with to satisfy your needs in every way and i dont want anyting that happened to be another chapter of my nightmare every time i close my eyes. yes,i cant denied that i did said that i accept you for who you are cause i love you for who you are and not for who you are not but that dosent mean you may take advantage of that phrase. i love you sincerely and truely and i hope you do too. you said you wanted to rewrite back the things you done wrong and replace it with happy memories in my life, you want to start afresh and give me every thing that a girl dream when it comes to relationship and i said i dont mind if we were able to start afresh if you really sincerely and truely love me. so i hope you sticks to your promises. but if you really love someone else more an your just having fun with me please tell me,i dont want to keep holding on to the untied rope. what ever i said here may not be true when it comes to the negative parts and i really hope it is something that just kept disturbing and bothering me ever single day. and i never would want to see the old tricks you once used on me. cause i rather hear the facts and truths which is much more painful than lies would breath. i guess this is why people say that your first love is always hard to die. i hope we could spent some time and try to talk about all these and understand each other more.

p.s.: like i said all the negative parts may not be true and i dont ever want it to be
the facts and reality i facing every single day. i truely sincerely love you,i
sacrifice a lot of things just make things right and i dont ever want history to
repeat itself. i may say a lot on the negative part that i see in you,but the
positive is always the beautiful thing and unforgettable memories i write in
diary of my life. forgive me for anything i had done wrong or hurt you in anyway...
just remeber i love you with all my heart and your the only one i love everyday.
yet whatever things you done wrong or hurt me,it may leave a scar but it leaves like the leaves fall from the trees.