as i sit by the window, all my pasts and everything that have been happening in my life is coming back. it's like just yesterday it happened. going through all the tremendous changes is not a smooth sailing journey for me. I still remember the great changes i went through during sec1. during the whole i received excellent results for my studies,and you know what? that was my first time in my whole life i able to achieved well for my studies. but i guess good things doesn't last long but if only you know how to take care of yourself. well, it last only for a year and my life that fill with joy and happiness only for a year. the next year itself, my life starts to changed slowly without realizing i had broken the promise i made to myself, which was "i promise myself i would concentrate only on my studies till my secondary studies ends and not get involve in any BGR". that promise didn't worked pretty well, as my studies starts to drop and i started to get involve in relationship. i'm not doing well in my studies and so was my relationship, because of that i had made a wrong turned while walking the journey to a great life.
since then things didn't go pretty well for me,as day pass by my life and myself went through tremendous changes. everyone able to see it, how much i had changed since then. i start to mix around with the bad companies, just keep getting myself involve in relationship and when i'm outside,my circles of friend is getting larger, my friends are outside are mostly guys. when it comes to the sec 3 year, my life became worse and that very year was also my memorable year of my life but it ended sooner than i thought it would be. i almost had to stay back for another sec 3 year as i my results were pretty bad and that very year, someone new entered in my life that almost made everything so perfect. i realized the relationship i had with him 2 months ago affected myself and my life too deep that make me changed even a lot and now i'm more on the wild side of life. i did realized that since the day we got together he were not always there for me when i'm in need,when i'm down etc, but instead friends around me and outsiders, never fail to be there for me.
i have been shutting myself up for 2 months plus, as time pass, i'm getting afraid to everything that is around me. i'm afraid of myself, i'm afraid of losing someone, i'm afraid of losing the love i have here in my heart, i'm afraid....
p.s: ku cuma manusia penuh dengan kesilapan tapi bisa membezakan cahaya dan kegelapan. zul thanks for being there for me always, love you babe.
by the way...
wish you all the best in everything you do & all the best for
you wedding which is coming soon. Love you,abang,take care,
and,and,harap abang & kak siti berkekalan hingga akhir hayat.
